The Alchemy of Forgiveness

Within my Tarot and Spiritual Counseling sessions I often encounter clients who misunderstand the concept of forgiveness.  I regularly hear spiritual teachers and mentors suggest forgiveness is a key ingredient in the emotional aspect of healing - when it’s accepted that the emotional state has an important relationship with our physical well-being as well as having a strong influence on the reality we create for ourselves, it’s important to get a clear understanding of what’s required so that the healing process is as swift and effective as it can possibly be.

How many times have you been advised to ‘forgive yourself’? For many, the idea can seem perplexing and a professional should never offer this kind of advice to a client without proper explanation - the process of forgiveness is just the beginning in the alchemical flow of transformation. It must be properly followed through to completion to avoid the individual slipping back into the old, unhelpful ways of being.

At the deepest level, we need to recognize the damaging patterns of negative emotions related to a sense of guilt or shame, not being ‘good enough’ or failure associated with low self-worth. The behaviours these emotions create and the projections they offer to others can be thought of as a form of punishment we repeatedly inflict upon ourselves as our external world mirrors our internal state of being.

Once these deep patterns have been recognized, we can more clearly see the mask of self-punishment we wear - it causes us to constantly turn on ourselves and results in a lack of security sad sense of disappointment in life. The process of self-forgiveness is very much about removing this mask - both energetically and through clear insight - so that the root causes of our problems can be exposed.

The root causes vary between individuals, but they are almost always negative resonances deeply ingrained in the psyche, energetic blueprint and DNA. They can stem from past lives, ancestral or inherited issues, pre-conceptual patterns related to the ‘soul contract’, pre-birth or birth trauma, childhood problems or dramatic life events. It takes gut and determination to heal these kinds of issues on every level and the results can vary according to our individual receptiveness to change as well as the skill and sensitivity of the practitioners we choose to work with.

Forgiving others is a slightly different story. It’s another common misconception that this kind of forgiveness involves compromising the self to let go of anger towards or disappointment in the other person in order to create a situation whereby it feels acceptable to remain entwined in a relationship with them. These kinds of relationships often involve some kind of co-dependency or dysfunction whereby each party perpetuates the problematic patterns within the other.

Lovers from the Soulscapes Tarot by Jade Ashcroft © 2012

On a conscious or subconscious level, an addictive connection or sense of need is developed between the parties that can seem almost impossible to break. The patterns behind the behaviour that trigger the anger or disappointment are then simply repeated and we become stuck in an emotional ‘groundhog day’ whereby the need for forgiveness arises again and again.

This is the story behind bad marriages, unpleasant family dynamics and unhappy working relationships. We can recognise this sorry state of affairs in most of the situations that we feel we simply have to put up with because we believe other factors make it necessary for us to connect with those people whose actions trigger the anger, disappointment or sadness that holds us back.

The first concept to be aware of when dealing with this kind of challenge is to recognise that continuing to place oneself in the problematic relationship is most likely to be a result of the low self-worth that requires the process of self-forgiveness I’ve already discussed.

When the root causes of low self-worth are identified and tackled, the anger or disappointment in the other person is often also exposed as being connected to those very same issues and the individual realises the dependency or co-dependency that’s been trapping them is an illusion they can easily transcend. 
Of course, we can work on ourselves, but can never force the other person to make what we perceive to be desperately needed changes. Even if we can persuade them to look at what needs transforming, they have their own inner work to do, and whether they do it is a matter of choice. In many cases, it is necessary to hand back the burdens we have on some level agreed to carry for the other person in the situation and assert our own boundaries when it comes to accepting responsibility.

So what’s the outcome of forgiveness when another person is involved? Sometimes our own process can transform the relationship and both parties can make the shift into a healthier connection. On other occasions, we realise the relationship is no longer needed, since the lessons it had to offer us have been processed and learned; we become empowered with freedom and find the strength to step away. This is very different from running away - since the patterns we create will remain prevalent until dealt with, so it’s never enough to extract ourselves from a relationship or situation without dealing with what’s truly going on beneath the surface.

In my view of existence, since we are the One currently enjoying an experience of separation in the form of human incarnation, the situations around us and people we’re connected with are our own creation. They are simply aspects of ourselves that we have chosen to experience in order to learn the lessons we have contracted to explore. They demand transformation so that we can expand and grow, eventually reaching the point where we realise that we are One again, and we see the dance of life from a totally different perspective.
Forgiveness is deep inner work. It requires self-responsibility, a sense of empowerment and the recognition of our own choice and Free Will. All these concepts are beautiful things that are an integral part of the healing process of the soul’s journey and the flow of awakening consciousness as we shift from duality to Oneness. Now’s the time to use forgiveness to explore freedom as we lift the limitations on our personal potential.

When we know how, it’s simple to move from sadness into joy.

Rhian Kivits – Crystal Priestess
Rhian is a Spiritual Teacher, Crystal & Energy Healing Expert, Writer, TV Presenter, Shamanic Seer, Crystal Skull Guardian & Priestess of the Sacred Feminine based in Glastonbury, UK. She is also co-author of the book ‘Crystal Skulls – a Journey of Wisdom, Experiences and the Divine’ which is due to be published in the Spring. Her website is www.templeofthegoldenheart.com

Crystal Skulls – decoding the mystery within by Rhian Gibbings

The ancient Mongolian crystal skulls also form an interesting group, being carved from ‘golden’ calcite crystal with a distinctive and striking non-human style. They seem to inspire their guardians to walk a shamanic path, expressing their spirituality and honouring the interconnectedness of all existence through sacred ritual and ceremony.

If we choose to delve into metaphysics, magic, energy healing, channelling and the plethora of fascinating concepts that occupy the minds of spiritual seekers, there are infinite ways that crystal skulls can be involved. As part of a growing international community of crystal skull guardians, I’ve observed that individual ways of working with the skulls are as diverse and variable as the carvings and crystals themselves. 

One thing that many crystal skull guardians would agree on, however, is that once they began to immerse themselves in discovering the mystery and magic offered by the crystal skulls, they often found there was no choice but to grasp the opportunity to embark on a journey of personal development that became totally transformational. It’s not unusual to see dramatic changes in people who find themselves connecting with crystal skulls, such as the endings and beginnings of relationships, the emergence of undetected skills and talents, shifts in what might have seemed like previously steady attitudes and beliefs and even the opening up of new and wholly unexpected life paths.

The idea that crystal skulls are so dynamic may seem strange to those who haven’t been drawn to connect with them on a deep level, and it’s true that for some, crystal skulls simply aren’t part of the path. I believe we all have the potential to find our ultimate truths, and if crystal skulls are part of your spiritual journey, they are likely to become important keys in your awakening process. If not, other keys or catalysts can emerge in a form that is more appropriate for you.

But what’s so special about crystal skulls? Why should a piece of crystal shaped like a human head be such a powerful tool for transformation? Perhaps there are several concepts worth considering when answering these questions.

For those who connect with crystal skulls, any negative associations related to the archetype of the skull itself relating to death and human mortality are soon exposed as false illusions. Lessons learned from contemplating the timelessness of crystal itself allow us to see our spiritual nature as eternal, and the skull form begins to represent the magnificence of ‘human beingness’ – a term that describes our infinite capacity for understanding and our potential as vessels for Divine expression through our flowing thoughts, emotions and Free Will. 

In this way, crystal skulls seem to trigger and facilitate the steps required for the individual to reach a greater level of inner understanding relating to those crucial questions we’ve probably all asked at one time or another – ‘Who am I’ and ‘Why am I here?’.So the crystal skulls have proved invaluable tools for many – inspiring them to look within and make personal progress and beneficial changes with leaps and bounds that may previously have seemed inconceivable.

When people ask me about the message of the crystal skulls, I’ll often suggest their starting point is to make their connection and consider the skull as a mirror that reflects their inner self. It actually doesn’t matter at all whether the information they receive through the crystal skull is delivered in the perceived form of telepathy, clairvoyance or simply impressions, emotions or sensations. It’s when the individual starts to recognise the wonder of who they really are through their connection with the crystal skull that the real magic and transformation can begin.

There is something truly special about the crystal skulls which catalyses deep revelatory experiences and inner realisations in a flash. Rather than analyse this too much, I like to attribute it to the pure magic of the crystal skulls and I view it as Divine.

True inner work with crystal skulls ultimately guides us towards our potential for balance and harmony with everything that exists. At its most pure, the process helps each seeker find a special path of Love and Unity that works for them. It’s therefore fair to say that for many guardians, crystal skulls are trusted friends and beacons of Light that signpost the bright future for this world that we’d all like to envisage ahead. In simple terms, crystal skulls are New Consciousness. Embrace the opportunity to connect with the crystal skulls if they come your way – it could be a pivotal point in your personal journey.

RhianGibbings is a Spiritual Teacher, Crystal & Energy Healing Expert, Writer, TV Presenter, Shamanic Seer, Crystal Skull Guardian & Priestess of the Sacred Feminine. 

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